.30 Days of Poems. [One]

.I.

I am currently dealing with abandonment;

feeling left behind by more than careless parents,

seconds on hour clocks and the sun.

I dont like how it's making me feel.

.II.

I called security,

she hung up, told me

to grow a back bone

and no one could love such a twisted

tree.

.III.

I like to draw on my my hands,

keep thinking if I get enough sharpie

ink to stay on my hands

without oils of time wearing it off

I will find a way back.

.IV.

people keep telling me they saw me the other day.

I haven't seen me in ages. How did they know

it was me?

.V.

I wish i could

just as easy call myself.

.VI.

I forgot my name.

.VII.

I am currently over this

epiphany.

.Tabitha #4453.

the infinite recklessness of your hair
makes crazy.

you spinster,
hurricane force.

curly, fire breathing fairy;
i dream of you often. dancing on to water lilies
in the middles of hailstorm.

you never make much sense to me,
all I know is I am hear to love every shattered
glass moment you have.

and im here, straight jacket
and all.... hugging my
reflection.

.Morning Pages-#4.5.

I wrote about bruised ego's and spirits this morning,

bled out inconsistencies my 9 year old bosom should have never

know. Spoke of loss no child should ever feel.

and am whole

for this hour.

.Woman #887.

woman,

you have suspended the heaven

from your breast.

breathed tides to still waters

and moved the earth with your

nervous feet.

You,

fire breathing sunset woman

why dont you know the worth held in your palms.

why not see

molten life spilling from between your legs

as holy.

rain dance on cosmos

and shower the tops of our head

with your beauty.

if you would only see,

you aren't some broken

down object

subjected to subjects of

late night sentences from

drunken tongues of those who dont

know your seasons.

that mirror hanging on the wall

aint no picture of heaven...

but of god

and of

you.

.Horizon.

i wanted to sing to you this morning,

caress your aura with the humming bird living

deep with in my chest.

she woke up extra early just to

lift your heavy spirit

with her ambrosia wings.

.Haiku #78965.

God told me he'd quit
if i couldn't let you go,
lost grace to keep you.

.Vanity.

I lost myself,

in my own reflection.

 

Ever got so tied up in yourself you stopped really interacting with the world.  I have been there lately.  So twisted and tangled in my own vanity i stopped noticing the world around… Started tripping over things, started crashing into my own ego and in the midst of it all I lost myself. 

So how do I begin to start over?… Reading.  I need to find the artist in me… not the stressor, not the insecure human…. but i need to get in touch with me beyond the epidermis…

 

that starts today.

 

Im fasting from speaking negatively about myself… and really myself at all.  The next 48 hours will be about listening.

 

48 hours.  I will not speak about any insecurity I have.  Im going to stop putting negative things about myself  into the atmosphere.

 

Fast with me!